doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
(...because it's a sticky entry, get it?)

i'm doodlemancy. i'm some number of years old and i've resorted to calling myself a "professional hobbyist" because i do a lot of things. this is my blog. i started doing more long-form blogging here after cohost's closure.

if you came here from outside dreamwidth and you are Internet Old: dreamwidth is Livejournal 2, hi. if you are too young to know what LiveJournal was: it's what we did before tumblr, which is what we did before and during vine and twitter, which is what we did before tiktok and discord and bluesky.

you can comment on this blog even if you aren't signed up for dreamwidth! most entries have anonymous comments turned on.

anyway, here's what my whole deal is:

🌈 i make and sell cute things
etsy - stickers, charms, prints, other bingles and bongles
ko-fi - i have some digital goods up there, plus it's my not-patreon. free posts too! you can follow without paying.

πŸ“– i am a (visual) novelist
Potion Stand Story - my 2024 short visual novel, which you can play for free!
Iron Company - my WIP visual novel, which you can play (some of) for free, and which i never shut up about.
(if you don't know what the fuck a visual novel is-- here you go)

πŸ‘©‍πŸ’» i am all over the world wide web
find me at bluesky, tumblr, pillowfort, toyhouse, and a whole bunch of other places.

β˜• things you might see on this blog
• my arts and crafts and things
• little excerpts of my WIP scripts for Iron Company
• talk of such things as anime, manga, and video games
• catposting
• other various rambling, musing and sometimes ranting
• recipes and stuff? idk. whatever i feel like putting here

🏷️ mini tags reference
doodlemancy watches anime / doodlemancy reads manga - my infallible insufferable opinions on anime and manga
helpfulposting - tutorials and things
potion stand story / iron company - posts related to my visual novels
where's tia - catposting
mouseposting - all posts that contain a mouse, or mouse energy. click and play "spot the mouse thing"

(this isn't a complete list of tags, obvi. look at my
tags page, many others are self-explanatory ;D)

✨ you can always find me at doodlemancy.com!

also, the really cute background i'm using is from the now-defunct Dolliecrave, a beloved source of free website/blog graphics. long may your flag wave... 



 
doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
my mail-order pharmacy pushed back the expected fill date for my ADHD meds like 4 times in a row since the week before Christmas. i avoided dealing with it until today, (i have basically just been getting by with coffee. it hasn't been great.) partly because i am tired and experiencing the symptoms of several of the other million things that are wrong with me and it's seasonal depression miasma time and so on and partly because every single time i have to get on the phone and deal with this there's a 75% chance i end up spending the rest of my day in a rage or crying or both.

today i called all the places that usually have it. every tech i spoke to was exasperated because the manufacturer had been jerking them around for a while on actually shipping the medicine they ordered. then i called my clinic. they pointed me to a help line for my CCO where they can search up the pharmacies most likely to have it in stock. then i found out not a single pharmacy within my nearly 200,000 person city had my dosage in stock. it is the most common fucking dosage.

alternative medications are a problem for me because i have Basically PTSD from a bad encounter with a bad prescription once. generics are no help because all the generics for vyvanse are useless (and mostly just make me feel sick). i can't drive, so i can't just go hunting out of town. i'm basically just turbo fucked. the only good news is i'm apparently next in the queue, IF Takeda Pharmaceuticals deigns to ship any more vyvanse to my pharmacy any time this century.

i'm sick of this. i'm sick of having to do everyone's work for them, ALWAYS when it's down to the wire and/or i'm unmedicated, because everyone is more terrified of me becoming a drug abuser than they are of me becoming DEAD because i absent mindedly wandered in front of a car or something. sick of having to shout GET ME A FUCKING HUMAN at phone robots over and over and over until they comply. sick of going weeks unmedicated, grouchy and exhausted for no good reason. i lived 26 years thinking i was just lazy and unproductive and good for fucking nothing, i got on some meds that changed everything, and now i find out that the real lazy, unproductive good-for-nothings are the people that PRODUCE THE FUCKING MEDS.

i know the DEA is also at fault for some of this and fuck them too, but Takeda is clearly just fucking around right now. this might sound childish, but i think that if you do bad things to me, it is you who should experience the consequences, instead of me. and also maybe i should be paid fairly for my work ($9000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 per minute on the phone is all im asking)

i swear to god i'm going to start invoicing people once i am done crying
doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
i have not been keeping up with posting this stuff here this year. it's a mixture of being really busy and... posting images on dreamwidth... being kind of a nightmare lol. i finally figured out imgbb makes it a little easier, though, so here's some Iron Company stuff i drew this year. starting with the major characters i designed this year: Elemere, Alastor, Viktor, and Dimitri. this year doodlemancy truly became Doodlemancy Who Draws A Man Sometimes.

elemere ref sheet alastor sedgwick ref sheet viktor raskoph ref sheet
dimitri sketches dimitri with colors
some of the more polished stuff:

viktor-alastor-walking-in-the-snow elemere-heard-you-were-talking-shit elemere-threatening elemere-portrait october-2025-sedgwick raskophweddingphoto couch-cuties carsonportrait chibisv2

and a boatload of sketches:

viktor-alastor-just-being-good-friends mentor-student-snow-walk mentor-student-petra-and-alastor-study-in-the-garden viktor-alastor-studying-very-heterosexually 682b8fcaedaa66ac90cdf80e3ffce756 helmfried-and-friedhelm-with-elemere petra-in-some-1930s-dresses petra-sketches aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa maddie-and-sykes dancey-time GLOMPS-U sykes-and-erika gfs yaaaaay too-much-party too-much-library uh-oh gay-drama
this is not even all of it. if you want to see more, toyhouse or pillowfort are probably your best bet.
all these characters are from my current visual novel project which you can play right now for free!!
doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
2026 will be my first full year without untreated carpal AND cubital tunnel syndrome in my drawing arm since i was still a child. (long story short: symptoms started in teens but i didn't have access to a doctor, and then when i did in my early 20s, said doctor wrote down that i had Making Shit Up Disease and i got gaslit repeatedly for 11 years. turns out doctors are wildly misogynistic, who knew!)

it takes up to a full year to really see the complete results of carpal/cubital tunnel release, and my second surgery was in August, so i still have a ways to go before i really know where i'm at now, but as things currently stand: i can draw longer without pain, if i do flare up i seem to actually recover with rest, and pain relievers like, actually work. shit's crazy.

so basically, this next year has the potential to be very exciting for my creative growth. i've already progressed so much just since the middle of 2025.

my creative progress this year
  • i feel i have fully escaped the gilded cage of only being able to draw women and bishies. i can draw a man now. i know what those look like. i'm also better at bishies. just look at my Alucard.
  • used Art Fight to strengthen two skills: hard shading, and working monochromatic (both very important for my visual novel project)
  • i touched Blender. briefly. while high on post-surgery drugs. i didn't make anything or retain much but i did touch it finally
  • i got FASTER. through strategic use of a cute little timer. (this is not an affiliate link. i just want you to see my cute timer. look at the little cloud look how happy and gay they are) it's honestly nuts how much faster i can work now, even with color.
  • i got slightly better at more dynamic/daring poses and composition.
  • i built a personal reference library that's really helping me out.
  • i got so much better at Ren'py. like sooooo much better. not just code, but also working on Potion Stand Story DX taught me a lot about "animating" stuff in Ren'py, and how much you really can accomplish with a dissolve transition or just wiggling stuff. i'm very excited to apply what i learned from that to Iron Company.
  • i'm increasingly perverse about coding. it was a means to an end to make my visual novels happen and now i think about it in the shower or in front of the microwave.
  • i got better at writing. i used to joke a lot that i have one big beefy trogdor arm for dialogue and one little pathetic stick arm for prose, but i got better at prose, too, and i don't feel like i'll need quite as many images to carry Iron Company as i previously thought.
goals for 2026

(i'm gonna sound pretty critical of myself here but it's in jest and good faith. sometimes i gotta joke around with myself a little about my weaknesses before i can stance up enough to face them)
  • FIRST AND FOREMOST: i have got to tackle my biggest visual art weak spot, which is my total lack of confidence re: The Head/Face In Perspective/At Weird Angles. i bought a book. im thinking about buying a little mini medical model skull to keep on my desk. i gotta really solidify the planes of the face in my mind, maybe see if i can grasp the Reilly Method now too. it's an area of neglect and frequent frustration for me, and i'd like to leave fewer of my successes on that front up to chance. ;D doing the Friangle challenge was the first step. this has been my biggest stumbling block for so long, and now that i'm strong and powerful and don't wear out after an hour of drawing, i'm confident i can get better at it. i gotta draw my gay little characters smooching until i become a demigod.
  • here i am working on a visual novel where everyone carries guns, and as an artist i am gun-shy. hey, me! why fear the judgment of gun nuts? if they're looking to you for a Kouta Hirano level of gun-illustrating perversion, they're in the wrong place. you only need to learn to do this well enough to serve the story, and the bar for that is so extremely within reach, especially in the age of accessible 3D models.
  • the above paragraph but also for vehicles. LOL
  • i want to strengthen my understanding of light and shadow. frankly, it's weak. serviceable a lot of the time, but weak; when people compliment me on it i feel as if i've tricked them. at the very least, i'll make it a goal to apply quick hard shadows to more of my sketches rather than leaving them unshaded. there's so much that even simple shading can communicate that lines can't do alone.
  • i'm really hoping in the spring-- the part of the year where my mental health and creative drive tend to peak-- i'll find some time to learn Blender. there's so much more i could accomplish if i could make my own 3D models or at least modify/kitbash existing ones, it's just something that will require something of a Herculean effort for me to actually learn, because... ngl... sitting and watching a video tutorial drains my MP so fast, but Blender isn't something i seem to be capable of figuring out by just fucking around. crossing my fingers that i can direct my Spring Hyperfocus at it.
  • it would be neat to play around with composing music a little. that would be cool. idk if i'll have time for it but like, it's a possibility.
  • and
  • very important
  • this next one is soooooooooooooooooo important
  • I NEED TO CONTINUE TO TAKE BREAKS REGULARLY, stretch, and improve my ergonomics in general. back in 2024 when i was in physical therapy and had to draw in 10-20 minute sessions with 5-10 minute breaks in between, i not only had less pain, but i produced better work. to be clear, it was miserable. i hated it. for a person of Neuros Diverged in such a way as mine are, it is absolute torture to break the flow state on purpose. but. the results were undeniably better. AND, resurgence of CTS after surgery is unfortunately something that can and does happen (rarely), AND my back and neck are kind of fucked from depression-related inactivity. i gotta strengthen my discipline and my body. if i am so excited about my work that i can hardly tear myself away from it to stretch for 5-10 minutes, that's even more of a reason to try to maintain the (admittedly terrible and ungrateful) body that allows me to do the work.
i don't expect to meet every goal. it's fine if i don't. i'm super excited to try. i fucking love making stuff. frankly, things suck right now. my brain is bad, my body is still bad, the world is bad. i don't really need to get into it. but making stuff is good, always. it's my biggest emotional need, my driving force and my refuge from the Generalized Bad-ness. big ups to making stuff. shoutouts. accolades, etc.

anyway, play the new Iron Company beta which now includes Chapter 0. (new web version coming when i figure out how to pare it down to work within itch's limitations hahahaha aaaaaaa,)

doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
Chapter 0 - Alastor, Viktor, and Petra, Too - has been added to the Iron Company beta. tiny Petra is in it and she's adorable. (tiny Alastor is also in it and he's... look you can be adorable and deeply troubled at the same time). play it here for free!

there is currently no working browser version but i'm trying to figure out a solution for that lol RIP

Illustration of Alastor discovering Petra's magic potential
Screenshot of a scene where young Alastor is interrogated by the headmistress of his school about something terrible he did
Illustration of an adorable photograph of young Petra and her mentor Alastor (she's cheery, he's grouchy about having his photo taken)
Screenshot of a scene where Alastor breaks the Inquisition rules by burning a forbidden tome himself instead of turning it in
screen4screenshot1041
doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
my shitty elbow is flaring up rn because of the cold/some personal mistakes, and i can only do one handed tasks, so here's another list of resources. for a while now i've wanted to have something to send to people i drag into the ren'py pit with me, so here is my curated list. the selling point here is that i am an empty headed ADHD disaster who is not very good at coding and i personally have successfully used all of these. i'll probs update this list in the future.

comments are open (even to people without a dreamwidth account) if you wanna suggest stuff but im keeping the post itself to stuff i have personally used. ;D

🎺 = Trumpet of MOST FERVENT EVANGELISM
πŸ’° = costs a lil money (worth it)


VSCODE EXTENSIONS
Official Ren'py Language Extension πŸŽΊ - highlights your code to make it way, WAY easier to read and edit.
Ren'py Launch and Sync πŸŽΊ - launch Ren'py straight to the line you're looking at in the code!! no more fast forward or typing in labels. (Kayin showed me this one and i screamed)
Ren'py Text Analyzer - tells you all sorts of interesting info/stats about your game
Wrap Selection - set up custom patterns to easily wrap highlighted text with tags. dead simple, works like a charm

HANDY UTILITIES
Ren'Edit - makes beta testing, proofreading, note-taking and corrections much easier.
Ren'py Action Editor - helps a lot with image positioning and ATL by providing a gui you can mess around in + code output to clipboard
Layered Image Visualizer πŸŽΊπŸ’° - INVALUABLE if you are using layeredimages as sprites.
Intro To Positioning In Ren'py - shows you how image positioning works via interactive tutorial.
Ren'py Hotspot Tool - make imagemap hotspots easy. it has a thread on the Lemmasoft forums.
Ren'py Visual Novel Viewer - if you're a "learn by picking apart someone else's code" kinda person this will help. please do not look at my code from my games though because it's bad DONTLOOKATME... OTL

FEATURE EXPANSIONS
Easy Ren'py Gallery πŸŽΊ - unlock images as the game progresses. very clear and easy to set up w/demo game
Controller Support Expansion πŸŽΊ - rocks ass. works right outta the box

VISUAL EFFECTS

Ren'py Auto Highlight - highlights and focuses sprite of talking character
Frost Breath & Snow - works great out of the box, dead simple to use and modify for other purposes
MVN Action Effects πŸ’° - some really neat vfx!!
Point Emitter - rocks ass. i used this for some of the fireworks in Potion Stand Story. good instructions.
Transitions & Dissolves - biiiiiig pack. also good for looking at and learning to make your own.
MVN Ren'py Shader Pack - lots of fun shaders to play with
Wave Shader - very flexible tool for wiggling stuff. wiggle your game. WIGGLE IT

TEXT EFFECTS
Kinetic Text Tags πŸŽΊ - i use this extensively for the shaky text (great for drama OR comedy, tbh)
MVN Text Effects & Shader Pack - LOTS of fun text effects like pulsing gradients and glowing letters

TUTORIALS ETC.
Screen Language For Dummies - 🎺 unfinished atm but already so much good info for newbies. read it!! REEEEAD ITTTT
LayeredImage Tutorial - 🎺 learn how to set up layered sprites. real nice tutorial, easy to follow
NomNomNami's tips - 🎺 a LOT of "things i wish i knew earlier" content here
VNDev Wiki - exactly what it says on the tin
Zeil Learnings - some great video tutorials with downloadables so you can play along
Visual Novel Design πŸŽΊ - really great ren'py videos. i'm honestly so mad that video tutorials are good sometimes
FeniksDev's site πŸŽΊ - LOTS of good ren'py info for devs of all skill levels

🎺🎺🎺 MORE GREAT STUFF (TOOT TOOT) πŸŽΊπŸŽΊπŸŽΊ
FeniksDev on itch - so many more tools i haven't even gotten around to testing yet (some free, some is πŸ’°)
Make Visual Novels on itch - Stella is a genius, just go browse (some free, some is πŸ’°)
official Ren'py discord - i know we're tired of joining discords but it is useful for real
r/Ren'py - a real good subreddit, i've learned a lot just searching here
 
doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
image searches are just junked up to hell. google, pinterest and duckduckgo's "no AI" filters do not fuckin work*. so, here are some places to look that will get you better results.

please keep in mind!...
β—¦ this is not an "AI-free" list, it is a "less-polluted-than-google" list.
β—¦ any site with user-submitted content should be treated as potentially contaminated. 
β—¦ if an image looks sus to you and has a post date of 2023 or later, it may be best to cast it aside.
β—¦ "AI or not" and similar tools are about as reliable as a coinflip.

βœͺ big & searchable stuff

slop evader
https://tegabrain.com/Slop-Evader
hands down the easiest and fastest way to run a quick search without getting trash results. this is a browser extension for chrome and firefox that allows you to search the web exclusively for results from before the public release date of ChatGPT. you can do this manually on your own, but the extension makes it much faster!

istockphoto, getty images, shutterstock, & alamy
https://www.istockphoto.com/ & https://www.gettyimages.com/ & https://www.shutterstock.com & https://www.alamy.com/
MIRACULOUSLY, these have not yet fallen to AI. they will probably advertise stupid AI "tools" loudly at you, but those are for modifying images after-the-fact. they do not actually allow generated images to be uploaded for sale. their size and popularity, along with the fact that stock photo sites tend to be good about specific keywords and descriptions, makes them ideal places to search. ime these sites were like half of google image results pre-AI-boom anyway LOL. 

pexels
https://www.pexels.com
free stock photo site. large selection, pretty good search tools. explicitly does not allow generative AI uploads.

pixabay
https://pixabay.com/
free stock photo site. requires AI images to be labeled and lets you filter for authentic images only. (unfortunately they aren't super diligent about moderating; be wary of images posted after about 2022. thanks for the heads up leigh)

unsplash
https://unsplash.com/
free stock photo site. explicitly does not allow generative AI uploads.

morguefile
https://morguefile.com/
another free stock photo site! this one doesn't have an explicit policy about AI, but they are a long-standing institution. my test searches didn't turn up anything that smelled off to me. not 100% guaranteed AI-free, but i do guarantee as of this writing, it's 500% less polluted than google.

flickr
https://www.flickr.com/search/
not completely AI-free, but it hasn't been cool since yahoo instant messenger still existed, so the slop peddlers mostly ignore it. GREAT search tools, lots of Creative Commons stuff, you can even use advanced search to narrow your search by date to pre-AI-boom times. heads up, this is one of the rare big long-standing gallery sites that still allows some NSFW images, so be warned if you don't use the filters DICKS WILL BE ON YOUR SCREEN. (i guess that probably also means you could find nude reference there.)

the wikimedia commons (thanks for the suggestion, pagodrink!)
https://commons.wikimedia.org/
huge, searchable database, and while it's not 100% AI-free, they're pretty strict about AI. (additional info here.) The vast majority of Wikimedia images are authentic. also fun because the images you'll get here usually have more context around them than a random stock photo. keep in mind: wikimedia is an educational resource that does not shy away from potentially upsetting content. graphic images of human and animal suffering/injury/corpses can easily turn up in searches. (you can try using openverse's search tools to narrow to wikimedia and filter/blur sensitive content, though ime it's more likely to time out and misbehave.)

nappy (suggested by multiple people)
https://nappy.co/
free stock photo site specifically focused on Black and Brown models. all CC0! no anti-AI policy that i can find, but having looked around, nothing has the AI stink on it. photographers also have profiles that link to their websites.

the internet archive
https://archive.org/
can be a little tricky and clunky to use at times, but filters can often turn up interesting stuff you won't find in other places. definitely not AI-free but can be filtered by date to pre-AI-boom uploads. lots of books here, btw. books with IMAGES in 'em.

the base mesh
https://www.thebasemesh.com/
a fantastic growing archive of basic 3D models of common objects. easy to download and view an object at an angle.

same energy (thanks for the suggest, animtrash!)
https://same.energy
works a lot like pinterest's previously excellent visual search and doesn't seem to turn up heinous amounts of slop (i tested with some keywords: beautiful girl, castle, scifi city, etc. and didn't really see anything that set off the alarms). you can upload an image or keyword search. left click on an image to get more results similar. right-click to see the source and enlarge the image. to be totally clear, this does use machine learning-- it would have to! but it's the kind of machine learning stuff that was in use and actually useful before the Besloppening of All Things.

zerochan & safebooru
https://www.zerochan.net/ & https://safebooru.org/
these aren't without problems and i do not post them uncritically; unsourced posting (and reposting without permission, usually from JP artists on pixiv and twitter) are long-standing problems on these sites. BUT they also house a lot of official/promo art from various anime and games, and they have pretty meticulously detailed tagging. if you're looking to figure out how to stylize a specific thing, they can help. zerochan forbids slop, safebooru allows it (put -ai_generated in your search to exclude most of it). try searching "official art" on both if you want to exclude stuff yoinked from pixiv and twitter with dubious permission. as an aside, i also highly recommend the Character Design References Visual Library for finding all sorts of examples of how professional artists do their thing.

animal photo reference repository (ty epsi for the suggestion)
https://www.animal-photo-references.com
repository of photos of lots of different kinds of animals! nothing here is generative. "Artists creating derivative or transformative works without Generative AI have blanket permission to reference these photos." (look at theeeeeeeeese...)

iNaturalist (ty for the suggestion Luna!)
https://www.inaturalist.org/
tons of photos of animals, easily narrowed down to specific species. great search tools. heads up: includes dead animals! but if you absolutely don't wanna accidentally see a dead animal, you'll want to narrow your searches to "alive". if you DO need to see a dead one you can narrow to that too. (horror artists, rejoice.) a heads up thanks to fluffgar - unfortunately site staff seems to have been taken in by AI, but generated images are, as of this writing, still not acceptable. the quality of the information (and unfortunately the photos) here may degrade over time, so keep that in mind if you're from the future and the AI bubble hasn't burst yet.

vishopper (ty gingervitis!)
https://www.vishopper.com/
a more specialized stock image library-- "creator and distributor of cut out images and textures for architectural visualization". LOTS to see here; humans, animals, plants, backgrounds, neatly cut-out from photos for compositing. unfortunately allows AI images but also lets you exclude them from searches. (search narrowing tools are also great here.)

openverse (ty cogdog!)
https://openverse.org/
a search engine that pulls from a lot of the places mentioned previously in this list (see their sources page). all content is under a creative commons or public domain license. as always, scrutinize your sources here-- AI could easily slip through-- but my test searches didn't return anything sludgy looking. it can be a little finicky, but it turns up good results.

βœͺ the holy trinity of "what does that look like from that angle" tools

reference angle
http://referenceangle.com/
a much more specific tool. pose the 3D head, search, get photos of real humans at the angle of the head.

animal photo art reference search (thanks for the suggestion, seb!)
https://x6ud.github.io/#/
it does what reference angle does... but for animals!

pose search (ty to scazrelet's big-ass list)
https://x6ud.github.io/pose-search/#/
pose a skeleton, tilt a camera, find ref photos!

βœͺ more specific stuff

smithsonian open access (thank you deramin for the suggestion!)
https://www.si.edu/openaccess
lots of content, lots of it copyright-free. since it's a museum, a lot of this is going to be more on the historical side. they have some 3D scans of things that are pretty neat and viewable in-browser-- look at this crab!

swordis
(ty for the suggestion gingervitis) & museum replicas limited
https://swordis.com/https://museumreplicas.com/
these are stores, but they've got a ton of good high-quality photos of different types of melee weapons. museum replicas limited also has a lot of what i'd call renfaire-wear, a lot of it historically accurate!

filmgrab (ty to scazrelet's big-ass list)
https://film-grab.com/
big archive of screenshots from movies.

sakugabooru
(ty for the suggestion kradeelav!)
https://www.sakugabooru.com
clips of sakuga (extra-quality animation) from various anime. no explicit anti-AI policy i can find, but probably unlikely to get polluted as basically anyone contributing to this would have to have something resembling taste lmao

roomstyler (ty jurplepicks!)
https://roomstyler.com/3dplanner
build a 3D room for background reference!

art libraries
https://www.creativeuncut.com/ - video game concept & official art
settei dreams - anime production art
characterdesignreferences - "character-focused art within the realms of animation, illustration, games, and comics"
https://artvee.com/ - high-resolution, public domain paintings, posters and illustrations (anon suggestion, ty!)

clothes!
this part of the list is pretty thin, and the topic is broad. my #1 tip is if you're drawing historical clothing, look for costume shops for theater/reenactment (a couple of those are included here). they tend to have good photos.
https://urstyle.fashion - remember polyvore? it's polyvore 2
https://vintagedancer.com - my go-to for historical fashion from the victorian era through the 1990s
https://same.energy/ - mentioned above, seems pretty good for searching specific style keywords
suitpic - not very searchable as it's a bluesky feed, but INVALUABLE suit reference
https://tokyofashion.com/ - japanese street fashion! really cool stuff here!
https://www.osfcostumerentals.org/OSF-Costume-Rentals - a good place to start looking for any period fashion
traditional russian costume and glebushkin (ty Seb!) - good reference for lots of traditional Russian clothing! you may need to autotranslate some stuff if you can't read Russian.
hikishop (ty Seb!) - WWI/WW2 reproduction military costume shop, geared toward historical reeanactors, with lots of detail shots. (content warning: yes, they do have Nazi Stuff; use it to draw historically accurate images of Nazis dying in hilarious ways πŸ‘)

great stock photo reference by & for artists! (suggested by many!)
adorkastock, trueref, theposearchives, nullentitystock, sambeawesome, jookpubstock, fatphotoref, nyxnaiastock

figure drawing tools by & for artists! (suggested by many!)
posemaniacs, line of actionquickposes, rkgk, sketchdaily, adorkastock

poseable 3d models! (ty splanet for the first one!)
posemy.art, justsketchme, magicposer, designdoll
mesh2motion - cool project i ran across on bsky. allows you to see a humanoid model (and a few animals) at different angles with a bunch of pre-set animations you can pause and turn around. you can upload your own models and set the bones, too; this is a project-in-development that could have a lot of useful applications for artists.

βœͺ suggestions welcome
comments on this blog entry are open even if you don't have a dreamwidth account. keep in mind i'm not looking to make a full list of all the art resources online; the goal here is to patch the google-shaped hole left by AI. some ideal criteria:

  • free
  • low friction (no barriers to entry, ideally about as quick and easy to use as google)
  • AI shit not allowed OR required to be marked and easy to avoid/exclude from search
  • images should have sources
  • good search narrowing tools/categorization/etc.
  • broad range of content; likely to return a lot of varied images, rather than just one or two pictures of something
  • lots of creative commons/public domain stuff is a huge bonus
βœͺ did this help you? spread it around!
some shareable posts on different websites that link back to this list:
bluesky, mastodon, tumblr, pillowfort, cara
some people get a 403 error; send them to the archive.org page.
(feel free to make your own posts on other sites i haven't posted it on!)

not-entirely-shameless self-promo: if you wanna see what i'm making, you can find a haphazard series of links to it all at https://doodlemancy.com, the world's most website that is online. doodlemancy dot com: it's website!™®


* wait, hang on, what do you mean the filters "don't work"?
pinterest uses a combination of metadata and AI to detect AI content, but it isn't always reliable. people seem to have varying experiences with pinterest. because individual feeds are so tailored, it's hard to tell exactly what's going on, but if you check out the subreddit a lot of people are always complaining about AI.

duckduckgo and extensions that filter google image results most often rely on a popular uBlock Origin 
blacklist. unfortunately, the blacklist has been getting less effective over time as the internet has gotten more polluted with AI imagery.

you will always have to rely on your own judgment at least a little. searching in less polluted places helps minimize risk.

doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
just kidding, this is just a vent post about the last 2 weeks of my life. some fun facts about me:
  • i have adhd
  • vyvanse works great for me
  • i also have pretty severe psychological trauma from a time some prescription meds went bad on me which has led to emetophobia and an extreme fear of unfamiliar substances
  • generic vyvanse does not work for me at all AND makes me sick to my stomach which triggers the emetophobia
  • i am also really bad on the phone, because i have trouble understanding people and i get really anxious and clam up and forget how to talk and it's a nightmare

(october 29th)

pharmacy #1: we're out of vyvanse. it'll be in on november 3rd

me: ugh whatever, this is the kind of thing i skip doses so i can cover, it's fine

(november 3rd)

pharmacy #1: haha just kidding november 10th

me (facedown in a puddle of my own blood, barely able to think or move, due to Aunt Flo's stupid shenanigans): whatever it's not like i'm getting anything done this week. guess im taking a break from my meds for a while

(november 5th)

friend: hey did you see Sun Pharmaceuticals' generic lisdexamfetamine is all fucked up and recalled?

me: ...that might explain why the pharmacy is struggling to fill my name brand stuff again ugh

(november 10th)


pharmacy #1: we will have it on november 24th

me: sure you will, sweetie. hey pharmacy #2 do you have my dosage of vyvanse in stock

pharmacy #2: yeah we have plenty of that right now

me: ok clinic can you please re-send the prescription over to pharmacy #2 thank you

clinic: yep (waits until the very end of the business day)

me: fuck's sake. it's really a waste of everyone's time that i have to go back to them like this every single time

(and at this point i start doing my research and find out, at the very least, there was a DEA rule change in 2023 that i didn't hear about that means i can have even a schedule II prescription transferred once between two pharmacies without my prescriber's intervention. why did no one ever mention this! who knows!!!!!!!!! i had been told this was impossible!)

(november 11th)

pharmacy #2: vyvanse out of stock sorry. none until the 24th

me: but you said you hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

pharmacy #2: sorry what i meant yesterday was we have plenty of the trash generic shit that makes you sick and useless and panicky

me:

me: okay,

me: well,

me: can we transfer it to another pharmacy

pharmacy #2: yes it looks like this other one near you has it in stock

me (stupid, expecting literally anything to ever go right): yay! one more phone call and i'm done!

pharmacy #3: hey so we tried to transfer it but your insurance said it's too soon since it was last filled

me:

me: but it hasn't been filled since september

pharmacy #3: thats weird

me: oh it's because the clinic forgot to cancel it at pharmacy #1. ugh can you cancel it or do i have to call someone else

pharmacy #3: you have to call someone else

me (dying inside): (screams into pillow)

me: UUUUUUUUUUUGH clinic can you please cancel the prescription at pharmacy #1

clinic: yes and i will call you back when it's done

me (feebly): do you have a time frame because i'm kind of scared pharmacy #3 is going to run out before they can fill it

clinic: no time frame sorry

me (too nice): ok :)

me: (screams into pillow again)

(and then the clinic proceeded to actually do the thing in a timely manner, but not call me back, but i caught it in time because i was feverishly refreshing pharmacy #1's website waiting for my old prescription to disappear.)

so here i am. with a splitting headache (from being unmedicated and sleep-ruined and furious) and a raw throat (from literally screaming into pillows because this sent me into an emotional meltdown). waiting for pharmacy #3 to notify me when it's ready to pick up. still unable to relax because what if they figure out a way to play keep-away some more lmao lmao lmao lmao

i have some rhetorical questions about this experience:
  • why?
  • why was any of this my responsibility?
  • why do i have to be everyone's unpaid intern?
  • why do i always have to be everyone's unpaid intern specifically when i am off my meds?
  • when will i get the millions of dollars in emotional damages i am clearly owed for being put through this same shit over and over and over and over and over since 2023?
  • how could anyone in this wretched world possibly believe in a loving god?
  • what if i just screamed really really loud next time this inevitably happens again? would someone help if i just started off with screaming? maybe i'll just scream
  • AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
this is not a paid post. but it could be, eagle dot cool team, if you're reading this. hit me up. hello. wink wonk.

so Pinterest did a big fucky-wucky earlier this year, which seems to be ongoing, and i didn't really like using it for my reference boards anyway. it was the best thing i had but i am always antsy about anything that depends on Being Online or Being Beholden To Someone Else's TOS. it's a sandcastle on someone else's beach. refern was a nice alternative that i tried out, but a major UI change 2 weeks into using it put me off, and then uh, it died. which is a tragedy-- it was really nice even if i didn't love the update.

cool stuff you can do with eagle
what i've always wanted is basically a local booru system, a la Zerochan and its bretheren. that is pretty much what eagle.cool is. you drop in your files and you can create a tag system basically any way you like. and in addition to images it can organize:
  • videos
  • fonts
  • sound files
  • svgs
  • 3d objects
when i found out i could organize sounds and music in it i screamed, because that would have been so useful when i was working on Potion Stand Story. but it will save my ass for Iron Company.
some of these things require you to download some of its extensions, which is done in-app and is super easy.

you can create individual reference libraries for different subjects. you can folder and subfolder. you can organize your tags by folders and color-code them. you can search by color (and all sorts of other things). you can even import your pinterest straight into it, which would have been nice if i'd noticed up-front because i did that the wfdownloader way and it was a lot messier LMAO.

it also comes with a browser extension so you can right-click and save things directly to Eagle, AND easily mass-yoink images from a page. and it saves sources automatically. S'BEAUTIFUL.

it is not free software, but it is a one time purchase, a rare and beautiful and reasonably priced thing these days. (free alternative later in this post.) it is probably the best 35 bucks i've spent this year. i've put a lot of hours into organizing and tagging my collection of reference images and stock photos and so on and it's so nice. it's so nice to be able to put custom thumbnails on fonts and actually be able to see them in their natural environment instead of squint at Windows' font viewer and try to mentally project how something will look in CSP. it's SOOOOOOOO nice to be struggling with drawing a thing and then search my tag for that thing and find the ref image i need without a bunch of hunt-and-peck through my old reference folders (which windows refuses to generate thumbnails for lmfao GOD).

at this point im pretty much using Eagle exclusively as the way that i access images on my hard drive. windows photo viewer? isn't that the bitch who sometimes takes entire minutes to open a single image for no reason? yeah haha i don't really know her. file explorer? more like file exploder. exploding with farts. because it's ass. in comparison to Eagle.

potential caveats...
  • technically there are "AI tools" (πŸ™„πŸ–•) but they are plug-ins/add-ons that are not preinstalled and that you do not have to use. the software will never pester you about AI crap; you don't even have to have it visible in your GUI. on the grand scale of software companies participating in The Great Shill, they are, frankly, doing a pretty poor job of shilling given that i didn't notice they were there until after purchase LOL. they'll be fine when the bubble pops.
  • Eagle makes its own library in its own folder, so it does store an extra copy of everything. BUT: you can export things again really easily. so if you end up having to delete the original folders to save space, it's relatively simple to just have Eagle spit all that stuff back out if you need to. also, syncing Eagle across devices with a cloud service works like a charm.
  • no mobile option as far as i can tell. desktop only. idc, im old
  • now when i do actually have to "open a folder" and "locate a file" in file explorer i feel like i have been teleported back to the middle ages and i am stepping around horse poop in the street
and a free alternative!
Allusion is a visual library manager that integrates with my beloved PureRef. it doesn't have as many features, but it does allow you to create a tagged, browse-able image library. it also pulls things from the folders on your hard drive rather than creating its own separate library with copies.
doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
a couple of things up front:
  • i'm not personally on Windows 11 yet but all of these tools work for 11.
  • this is not an invitation to badger me about linux. linux is fine but it is not viable for me. if you want to pay your own travel fare to come to my house and set up all of my extremely finicky peripherals and software with it, for free, sure, give me a time and date, i'd fuckin love to see you try.
  • don't badger me about security either lol. we all have to make our own risk assessments with this stuff and i've made mine; i stay a little behind specifically so that i don't get hit with updates that break things i need, waste my time, shove more AI trash in my face and potentially cost me money. immediately and unthinkingly saying yes to every update is how you lose your hard drive.
now that we've got that out of the way, here are the 3 large cast iron pans i have used to beat windows 10 (and, by proxy, friends' copies of windows 11) into a stupor and convince it that it is actually my beautiful dead wife windows 7 when it regains consciousness.

1. Open Shell
previously known as Classic Shell, Open Shell lets you return to a time when the Windows taskbar and start menu were designed with usability in mind instead of whatever the fuck happened in 2012. you can use it to make your current Windows GUI look and function more like pre-8 versions of Windows. it also adds a ton of handy functionality by letting you create custom submenus (i have one where i can easily launch all my gamedev stuff, one for emulators, one for my stream setup, etc. it's really neat!). you can also have a custom start button and stuff. there's lot's of customizing to be done! GET IT HERE.

2. Windows Update Blocker
i have negative tolerance for forced updates that randomly make my tablet unusable or keep me waiting around all fucking day when i have SHIT I'M TRYING TO DO. this lets me update on my own time, on my own terms, after thoroughly checking to make sure that the latest update isn't a brick-maker. be aware that the first time you run it, if there's an update in the queue it will probably still manage to install itself and you'll have to turn on WUB again after the restart-- but after that, you can live in peace. the other caveat here is you won't be able to download anything from Microsoft (ex. if you want to get something like PowerTools or whatever from the Microsoft Store, you'll have to turn off WUB temporarily). GET IT HERE. (and if you like it, you can donate to the developer!)

3. ShutUpWindows
originally ShutUpWindows10, it also supports 11. ShutUpWindows provides a large number of switches to turn off garbage. most importantly, you can use it to kill Copilot and Recall. there's a lot of stuff you can do with it that you technically can already do in Windows, but it provides a centralized location for all those little switches, and it's an easier way to make sure Windows continues to respect your preferences. you might have to occasionally open it and run it again after updates. GET IT HERE.

when using these tools, remember that they can and will sometimes interfere with stuff and keep that in mind when you're troubleshooting anything. also: be mindful of all the settings! especially ShutUpWindows-- don't just go with the recommended settings, comb through and know what you are turning on or off. the point of all of this software is to take back control over your PC, so don't let anyone make these choices for you.
doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
i've kind of been in brain freefall since The Big Important Wrist Surgery so here's a general housekeeping post of what i've been doing the last month and a half. it's a lot of things, none of which are the thing i've really meant to be doing, which is finishing Potion Stand Story DX-- that requires an amount of Think and Daily Committment i just haven't had available since my brain got blasted with KO drugs and painkillers and then my hand became able to play video games without severe pain for the first time in years. i'm trying to get this ship back on course though!! keeping myself on task right now is just still a little bit... herding cats.

recent art & doodles



clockwise:
•  my first kinda-finished drawing post-surgery! i drew this like... 9 days afterward?
•  you guys ever think about how the Oracle of Ages/Seasons Princess Zelda sprite has... odango...
•  Petra/Ryfka doodle i really liked (i wanted to draw Petra wearing something more feminine than usual for funsies)
•  Chiyo Sakura from Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun is my daughter and i love her

posting images here is kind of a big pain in the ass at scale so here are some links to more things:
MakoAmi sketch
• ReiNako sketch

(i basically re-learned how to draw by drawing sailor moon yuri lol)
• Sailor Senshi from Dungeon Meshi dlsfkjghfdlsjgfds i really need to clean this up and make it a sticker or something
• Elly (Fields of Mistria version)
obligatory Easter bunny costume art of Petra and Sykes (and costume switch)
• Cardcaptor Petra

• a comic i made while playing Echoes of Wisdom
• Kell/Sykes brainrot doodles
• a thread of Sykes Backstory Doodles that are very cute imo

newwwwwwww shop stuff
 


new stickers: birdhouse sticker and milk sticker!

and there's a new shop section... ZINES! my friend HikaTamika gave me zine cooties! i got a long-arm stapler and so far i've made 2.5 zines. free shipping in the US on these babies. not every zine i make will be available digitally but the ones that are will be in my ko-fi shop or, if you prefer, itch.io.

and just for fun, here's some brief rambling on anime and manga and tokusatsu i've touched recently

Yowamushi Pedal - i'm only like 7 episodes into this but i love when an anime is extremely passionately excited and factual about a topic (in this case bikes). cant wait to dig further into this thing and find out why that one kid's face is Like That

Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun - it is a crime that this thing got 1 twelve-episode season. gonna start collecting the manga. just a really solid comedy, i relate to Nozaki so much as an artist who cannot EVER turn off "that's good reference" brain and also as a neurodivergent dingdong who is frustratingly impossible to flirt with

Monster - we're getting close to the end and i love this fucking series so much. i love Kenzo Tenma and all of his funny friends. i love extremely average looking middle aged dude character designs. i love anime characters with distinct noses. i love to be scared and afraid and tense and very very worried. i think my fav lil arc so far was the one with Grimmer, i have big feelings about a guy whose feelings literally don't work right who chooses to be good and kind and gentle and empathetic even though he's not sure he's doing it right

Skip and Loafer - i've been working on collecting the manga and im so excited for this to get a second season soon. "i'm an adult i'm kinda done with school life teen drama stuff" bitch no you aren't you just want the good stuff. this is the good stuff. extremely My Daughter Whomst I Love series

Claymore - it wants to be Lady Berserk so bad. extremely self-serious, relentlessly edgy, it's got that B-movie charm. honestly A+ character choice to make your main character the absolute bottom of the barrel lowest-grade at the Badass Lady Organization, we love an underdog.

Gintama - we finally started this one. long running/comedy anime like this tend to be really hit-or-miss for me, and it definitely has a lot of dated humor and impenetrable-without-a-translator's-note kinda stuff, but when the jokes hit, they hit, and it's slowly growing on me. i find it comforting. it's "weird thing i would have watched on a friend's laptop in 2007" kinda stuff. i'm interested to see how this one evolves as it goes on.

Kamen Rider Kiva - it's a Kamen Rider with Castlevania vibes and 80s fashion. a funny bat tells you fun facts at the beginning of every episode. what the absolute fuck else could you possibly want in your life. theres a flying dragon castle and i still don't know why. i don't even care. i've accepted dragon castle into my life.

Gurren Lagann - i'm finally watching this one as i continue winding my way through the Gainax/Trigger back catalog. it has every Expected Problem (please Trigger. i love a boob but sexual harassment is not good comedy) and yet just like everything else they make, it's compelling and goofy and relentlessly appealing. i already know What Happens and im watching them stick death flags into You Know Who like a pincushion and screaming and crying and kicking my feet
 


doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
so it's tuesday. i had an endoscopic carpal tunnel release surgery last wednesday and this is basically how things have gone:

WEDNESDAY
• silly
• hand so swollen i could not move it, despite proper elevation and icing
• watched DnD: Honor Among Thieves and several episodes of Sailor Moon
• very proud of myself for figuring out how to do a lot of things without my right hand (see previous entry)
• believed fully that i would probs be totally fine the next day (hilarious)

THURSDAY
• woke up feelin GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• therapy!!!
• friend over for weekly anime day! so energized! hi friend!!!!!!
• 2 hours into anime: oh god sleepby
• microslept several times during anime. im shocked i did not fully just pass out
• went to bed at 7 PM and slept until like 4:30 AM lmfao

FRIDAY
• dial-up noises in brain all day
• straight up just unable to think. it was very annoying. it turns out that while i don't have any serious adverse reactions to general anesthesia i do get very fucking loopy for a while, and i just hadn't noticed because Party Mode hadn't worn off yet
• ate 4 baked potatoes for dinner. literally just. 4 of them. i guess when your body is sending all its resources to heal something kinda important you get really fucking hungy. for potatos.............
• stopped needing as many pain meds!!! yaey
• The Bruise (normal reaction to getting knifed in the hand; just upsetting) crept up past my bandage and i nearly had a heart attack
• panic attacks (but it was fine)
 

SATURDAY
• too much of a wuss to take off the bandage
• recovered enough brain to play The Sims
• PANIC ATTACK :) but it was fine
• extremely restless but too stupid to be effective at anything
• drew a little
• made a PBJ sandwich (VERY DIFFICULT with a loose plastic food prep glove over your silly, feeble, bandaged dominant hand)
• wanted hamburger helper for dinner but i can't prepare raw meat stuff rn due to the Situation, so i just had... Helper

SUNDAY

• took off bandage to replace with waterproof bandaid. did not faint but man my shit looked gnarly. had to wear a compression glove over it for a while until i was ok with it though
• tried to draw but it felt like my pinky was trying to clip through the rest of my hand so i stopped lmfao
• started kinda having thoughts again
• PANIC ATTACK :))))) BUT IT WAS FINE
• sort of using forks and spoons again lmfao. SORT OF

MONDAY
• THINKING BACK
• DRAWING BACK (SORT OF)
• played a little bit with Blender because when i'm unwell i have lower mental barriers to doing something Silly
• did not have a panic attack

TUESDAY (TODAY!!)
• I PLAYED FIELDS OF MISTRIA FOR AN HOUR WITHOUT ANY PAINKILLERS IN MY SYSTEM AND IT WAS FINE
• hand feeble and mildly sore now but not screaming
• WOW

im getting some shooting pains at the elbow and shoulder, still, now that i'm not 24/7 drugged, and i do worry i could still be a victim of CTS masking an additional thing (cubital tunnel syndrome) which is very common but.

a. it takes at least 2 months for CTS symptoms to fully go away after surgery. elbow and shoulder pain are CTS symptoms too. it's not guaranteed that it's a double crush.

b. i have a doctor now who is good and believes things i say AND does not hate when i know stuff, so like, even if it does turn out 2 months from now that i'm still a bit fucked up, i can go back and solve it. it will suck. i will be sad. but i will NOT just go back to being hopelessly adrift like i was the last 11 years.

this is probably not the end of this road. im getting CTS symptoms in my left hand too. it is likely this won't be my last surgery or the final struggle and i was under no illusions about that to begin with, but oh my god. just being on this new road is already so much better.

doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
yesterday i got up at 4:30 AM, stumbled into the shower, and went to the hospital for an endoscopic carpal tunnel release. everything went fucking great. i spent the rest of yesterday in a state of blissful stupidity with my hand propped up, watching movies and anime and longing for the nerve block to wear off so i could get back to typing. endoscopic method means i can do whatever movement i want as soon as i can tolerate it. i cant fuck it up. no hard brace, just a soft bandage.

i spent yesterday doing basically everything with my left hand and feeling like a genius. among my feats:
• opened pill bottles, including safety caps
• opened applesauce cups
• changed clothes a few times
• got myself a slice of cake
• put my hair up with a clip
• shower
• one handed application and removal of disposable Bathroom Gloves many times ooooooooogh i cant wait until normal handwashing

i had to sleep with my hand elevated. i cant fall sleep on my back usually bc it gives me nightmares, but thankfully via a combo of cat, Drug, and being very tired, i managed to drift off long enough to get some rest, reduce swelling, and wait out the numbness.

i can type (a little) and flipped an omelette this morning (VERY CAREFULLY).

here's my party decor and a POV of what i could see when i woke up today lol




heavy stuff in this next part:

this morning my mind went back to a day in 2015 where i came home from another dr's appointment that went nowhere, after it had already been secretly decided amongst clinic staff that my CTS pain was psychosomatic; i held it together on the bus home, got inside, sat down on my bed and just... screamed. and couldn't stop screaming. it was gonna be one pillow scream but one wasn't enough. i just kept screaming. i was so inconsolable and so out of my mind with grief that day that my mom thought she would have to call an ambulance. i think that was the day i really just broke. i haven't had hope since then. nor much luck. the doctors and clinics that followed all failed me, repeatedly, until last year. i was driven to suicidal ideation and marinated in severe depression, multiple times a year, by something extremely common that can be treated with a 15 minute outpatient surgery. i truly hope my previous doctors die of something painful and slow. they deserve the worst for what they put me and likely many other patients through; tbh crucifixion would be too kind.

i hurt today. but the post surgery pain, even before my morning dose of meds, is more tolerable than the pain ive been living with since 2014. did some crying into my cat this morning. it's strange to feel hope again and i don't trust it, not entirely. but i am hopeful.

AND ALREADY SO TIRED OF BATHROOM GLOVES, bandage removal day cant come fast enough lol





doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
(content warning: medical abuse, psychological trauma and assault. it's a victory but the trail here was rough)
Read more... )
doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)



sorry for almost no bloggy lately, hand pain has been killing me and i'm down to mostly left handed tasks. got an appointment soon to see if i can get CTS diagnosed for real and actually treated before there's no healthcare in the united states anymore haha things are a bit dire

doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
i could not for the life of me find a digital template for these and idk why the manu doesn't provide one. while the actual button parts are a standardized, generic size, other templates i found for these came out the wrong damn shape and don't sit right in my press or leave a weird bare spot at the... idk how else to define it... the butt crack of the heart. it seems like there's just a bigger, weirder margin of error on these things, and the press plates themselves are what's different even if the size of the actual button parts is the same? who knows. anyway i never could find a template for this specific manu's 58MM heart button press so, if you have a Cricut or Silhouette or whatever and want to cut heart buttons for this press,

YOU CAN GET MY TEMPLATE FOR FREE. you're welcome. i love u artists and crafters. make money, ok!! <3

I AM NOT AFFILIATED WITH AMERICAN CRAFTS BTW. i don't get any money out of this and the template is free to download and use. i do like their press, because it uses standardized button parts, gets the job done with consistency, and has a lot of nifty add-ons. but it's also the only button press i've used so far so. this is bias lol
doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
today was a bad day. i hurt a lot and some asshole stole a package with an ink cartridge off my porch so i had to browbeat Amazon into replacing it and i'm just in a real bad mood and then i Saw Something. someone whose opinions and levelheadedness i generally respect shared this post into my bluesky feed. and i just. need to scream. this person is already getting shredded to bits for this opinion and i don't think they need to be shredded any further. i just. it's part of a trend that's been driving me nuts, that i've been trying to bite my tongue about, and i need to rant a little about this... this thing i keep seeing. this thing where people (mostly american liberals/ the"center left") just... really really feel the need to tell everyone that OBJECTIVELY the economy is good right now, according to Numbers.


hi here's the thing:

it does not matter whether or not that is true, and you should shut the fuck up.

it does not matter that the economy is objectively better by the bullshit standard of "the median is doing better" or "we're technically earning more than our parents were." what matters is what real people are really experiencing on a daily basis and what they are experiencing on a daily basis is:
  • rent is high and keeps getting higher. before i was born, you could rent at least a shitty apartment with a part-time crappy job. now there is no FULL TIME minimum wage job that will pay rent and leave you with anything. anywhere. that is not a thing.
  • the cost of college is ridiculous and tons of people are perpetually being crushed in the jaws of student loan debt.
  • the cost of everything keeps getting higher and higher in general. raises literally don't matter bc they just end up divvied up between your landlord, your power company, your ISP, and fucking Netflix if you're still bothering.
  • the cost of healthcare has gotten more and more out of control since the early 90s. it's literally the #1 way people go bankrupt.
  • homelessness is skyrocketing, it is a very obvious visible problem and nobody is fucking doing anything about it (except sending the police to beat them up and steal their stuff)
  • it takes months to find a job, partly because there are tons of fake job listings now!!
  • even goddamn fast food isn't cheap anymore
  • we spend a LOT of our time working or exhausted from working
  • nobody gets any vacation time. even the jobs with the best vacation time pale in comparison to jobs in countries with more humane laws about time off
  • employers habitually under-employ people just enough to keep them from getting benefits and to keep workplaces running on skeleton staff so everyone is exhausted all the time
  • shopping also sucks more as a result of everything being Fuck Off Expensive and stores being understaffed
  • everything is made to break down in a few years. appliances, furniture, electronics, clothes-- nothing is made to last and we all constantly have to replace big-ticket items that used to last longer. even if you shell out for the nice thing, you're gambling.
  • we are all constantly being pummeled with scam messages, and when employers or companies we've purchased things from or whatever screw us over it's hard for a lot of people to figure out who to complain to or how to get help
  • having kids is kind of just logistically impossible for a lot of people now
  • poor people are legit getting screwed on our taxes while the rich fail to pay their fair share and we all fucking know it
when you tell people that AKSHULLY, the economy is VERY GOOD and BETTER THAN EVER, no matter how technically true it is, (and frankly... i don't buy that it is, but i'll humor the notion for a moment) all you are going to do is piss off poor people across the entire breadth of the political spectrum. it will not convince working-class right wingers to vote blue. it will not convince working-class leftists that dems are trustworthy, or on even vaguely the same side as us, or... literally live on the same planet as us. because you are saying something that literally does not matter in the face of their lived experience, and worse than that, you're minimizing how fucking miserable they are, to their faces. at best you sound like an alien and at worst you sound like an asshole. it's like saying "well, this is a historically much less destructive flood season than usual" to someone who's crying because their basement is currently a lake, or telling someone with terminal cancer that yeah, that sucks, but the survival rate for their type of cancer has increased significantly in the last couple of decades. shut up! shut up! shut up! shut the fuck up, you fucking annoying little nerds.

"things are better than they ever were" is a fucking useless thing to say when everything is this bad. "it could be worse!" isn't an inspiring message, it's something you say, semi-jokingly, to self-soothe when EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE. people who are going through hell don't' generally like to have their feelings about it minimized! like genuinely i do not understand how centrist libs want me to feel when i read or see or hear these headass The Biden Economy Is Great articles-- how am i, a desperate, terrified disabled person with an income of less than 4 figures per month, expected to react? how are my overworked, underpaid, exhausted friends who struggle every month to pay rent and bills and still have money left over for literally anything that makes life worth living-- how are they supposed to feel? how is my mom, who got a job that paid "$20 an hour" that then turned out to actually pay less than minimum wage (by making her drive her own car to clients and use a ton of gas they refused to reimburse) supposed to feel when she hears this? what are we supposed to get out of it? relief? hope? a feeling of gratitude, that we're so lucky, that we're living so much easier lives than we could be? literally what the fuck do you expect to hear back when you tell people who are angry and scared and always tired that the median person is doing fine?

i don't think anyone should have to be grateful that they aren't living the worst possible version of their life. i think we all deserve to have higher standards than that. i think a standard of "most people still live indoors" is pathetic. i think we are so warped by the absurd cruelty of the united states and capitalism in general that even people who genuinely want things to be better often don't know what that would look like.

it is not selfish to want more than this. it is not unrealistic. it is not childish. if we want to talk about what's objectively true-- it is objectively true that we all could be living better than we are, if wealth were fairly distributed and everything didn't just exist to fuel the stock market. it is objectively true that we have enough houses and food and clothes and electricity for everyone. it is objectively true that the problem is the wealthy and powerful.

let yourself want more than this.

doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
my progress has always been slow because my brain is bad and so is my body. i'm always fighting chronic pain and i'm always fighting ADHD/depression/anxiety, which leaves me with very little tolerance for frustration or feeling like i'm bad at things. i've also been slowly unraveling the fact that i suffer from dyscalculia, which for some sufferers makes it harder to judge distance, size, etc. at a glance. i've never been able to do that shit. it's part of why i'm so afraid of driving-- when someone says "start getting ready to stop 100 feet before the stop sign" i don't know what that fucking means. i don't LACK visual memory, and i don't think i have aphantasia, but i'm definitely weak in that department, too. basically my brain and body are fighting for me to be bad at drawing but i am always fighting to be good at it.

my biggest obstacle has always been frustration. i can't grind. physically or mentally, it just doesn't work. i miss my figure drawing classes, but i don't miss homework or deadlines or any of that.

since 2020-ish i've made some wild progress and i think i can attribute it to 3 things:

1. i started posing and tracing over 3D models

first with Daz 3D, when that was the only thing i knew of that was free and had poseable/kinda adjustable models. then i moved up to DivineDoll, excellent standalone software. then i got into Clip Studio Paint, with its huge library of user-made poses. (2020 is when i got myself a nice tablet and started using CSP.)

"tracing is cheating" is a common mentality of the inexperienced and immature. obviously you shouldn't be yanking from other artists, that's rude and shitty. but tracing reference that's made to be reference is fair fuckin game and pros do it all the time. it's also a skill! the way i do it these days is a lot more like just using the model as a base sketch and then doing a second draft over it. if you just follow the lines exactly, you'll end up with that weird stiff WikiHow look, and your style won't show through. but if you learn to use the model as a guide, more as reference for where things should be and less as an exact outline of what you should be doing, it's super helpful. basically it's like looking at reference without the part where i look away from my reference image and my brain instantly dumps everything it was seeing.

learning to pose the models also teaches you a lot. you learn what angles things look more or less readable at. if you start using furniture and other environment pieces, you learn how to compose a scene. it cuts out a lot of the trial-and-error (and thus a lot of the physical pain and frustration, for me). i had given up on learning to draw hands well; now i can freehand a lot of hands quite nicely because i've been tracing them from 3D models for years. there's still stuff i struggle a lot with-- the head at angles can be a serious chore, and i'm still not great at foreshortening, but i occasionally even get that stuff right. and the more i do it, the closer i get to being able to do it consistently. my visual library is getting a lot stronger.

2. i started very intentionally eating nutritious meals of visual media

since 2022, i've had an almost-weekly ritual with a local friend who is also an artist. we get together on one of our days off and we watch six. hours. of. anime. straight. i am not kidding. almost every week we do this. i think less than this would be sufficient but this is what works for us. and while most of our picks are based on What Sounds Good, we also kinda pick stuff with the intent of like, what we want to be studying right now. this keeps us from hurting ourselves drawing too much AND feeds our creativity. i set up a game controller to take screenshots, and now i have Too Many Anime Screenshots. i dig through them all the time. i need to draw x. where have i seen an anime do x? how do the pros handle this in like, a low-detail readable way?

i'll admit my diet is MOSTLY anime and manga-- that's my bread and butter and it's what i'm leaning on stylistically for my current big project. but i've been aiming to get some other stuff in there. i have a separate weekly event online where a couple of friends and i watch anime AND some tokusatsu now, and i try to get some western animation/comics and live action movies into my brain on at least a semi-regular basis.

the most important part, i think, is that i approach all this stuff WITH INTENTION. i'm always looking for something i can learn. it doesn't hamper my enjoyment at all to do this, tbh it's more fun for me to think about/analyze the artistic choices made along with the thing i'm watching.

this has expanded my taste, my attention span, my visual library, and it's taught me a lot about story structure.

3. i stopped trying to make finished pieces all the time and mostly focused on sketching a lot

nothing made me get better at drawing the Iron Company cast faster than working on an animatic.

i can't look at it now. it makes me cringe. you can dig it up from my youtube channel yourself, it's still there. but that project was like hey. go go go go. you do not have the fucking time to linger. just get something down that is GOOD ENOUGH and then do it again and again and again.

another practice i've been maintaining is whenever i think of a cool/funny idea, or see a meme where i go "haha that's my characters," or whatever, i sketch it real quick. sometimes, if i'm tired or in pain, i don't even sketch it-- i just pose some models on a canvas for later and then come back to it when i'm feeling better. doing a bunch of goofy little sketches got me farther faster than years of feeling like i had to finish things. you can just come back to stuff later even if you can't do it to your satisfaction right now.

i didn't really have a greater thesis here but since it's unfortunately top-of-mind this week again due to sifting through a bunch of AI trash on itch looking for ren'py tools, here's a brief rant: this is part of why i have no fucking sympathy for people who turn to generative AI because they "can't draw," and why i'm disgusted by the suggestion that AI is "helpful for disabled people who want to make art." i'm disabled and i've been finding ways to do this shit myself, ethically, without using the water-guzzling planet-cooking plagiarism machine. i struggle a lot with my work, and the satisfaction i get from my successes is worth infinitely more than the hollow reward of telling a computer to do something and having it spit out an approximation of what i wanted. it's not that people who use genAI "can't draw". it's that they don't want to actually confront the amount of work, failure and problem-solving that drawing presents (which is fine, i don't wanna learn plenty of things) OR they don't want to pay an artist to do work they need done (which is not fine; fuck off). i have chronic pain in my drawing hand, my brain clinically sucks at lots of stuff in a way that makes drawing way harder than it would otherwise be, and i'm finding ways around it. fuck, when i had a CTS flareup last year, i made Potion Stand Story mostly without drawing, and i did it without lowering myself to using genAI for anything. struggling has, in its own way, expanded my horizons. so i'll always take the struggle of making art myself over the fantasy of a computer doing it for me.
doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
first i have to credit Poppy for letting me in on some Advanced Hot Chocolate Techniques. she said try buttermilk powder but i didn't have any but i did think butter would be good so i just rolled with that and IT WAS GOOD. then i realized i still had cool whip left that had not made it onto christmas pies. did you know cool whip makes an excellent coffee creamer in general? i guess that checks out.

second: if you're expecting exact measurements or techniques unlikely to be sacrilegious to the average Coffee Shop Experience/Equipment Haver (i am not one) you're in the wrong place lmao. these are vibes-based recipes

Decaf Coffee Hot Chocolate
(or you could just use caf. i've been using decaf bc it's an evening drink for me. also i use the pour-over method for my coffee fyi)

Ingredients
• decaf coffee. we'll make... an amount you would like to drink
• milk (a few tablespoons?)
• powdered creamer (some. idk. like a teaspoon? ish?)
• salt (a pinch. like 1-2 shakes.)
• butter (just some. a cup of coffee does not require a lot of butter. like half a slice of toast's worth of butter at most)
• cool whip (DELICIOUS EDIBLE SHAVING CREAM)
• chocolate syrup, obviously (like. a tablespoon or two? idk you can't measure that shit it sticks too the spoon so bad)
• a single drop of vanilla extract
• maybe some sugar if you got the ratio kinda weird

Directions
• while you wait for your water to boil, put the powdered creamer, salt, butter, and chocolate syrup at the bottom of the mug.
• pour-over time! leave some space for milk and cool whip and stirring.
• stir until the butter is melted
• add some milk and stir
• now have a sip. does it need sugar? perhaps more chocolate? do what you need to do. i'm not here to judge
• when it's to your taste, add a big scoop of cool whip to the top of the mug. i like it frozen best. i like a big iceberg of slowly melting cool whip in there

the other night i wanted to make this, but mom was already asleep, and i didn't want to make a coffee smell at 11 PM and have her wake up and think she had time traveled. so i just started making regular hot chocolate in a pot on the stove, and i was thinking... i bet if i put cinnamon or some other baking-adjacent spices in here it would be interesting. and then i had. an idea.

Decaf Vanilla Chai Hot Chocolate

Ingredients
• 1 bag of decaf vanilla chai (i like Stash's)
• milk, enough to fill the mug you intend to use
• salt (just a pinch)
• butter (the same amount as above)
• cool whip (YES AGAIN i like cool whip okay)
• chocolate syrup (again this is an unmeasurable substance. you're on your own here)
• a single drop of vanilla extract
• sugar will once again be the thing we lean on if we mess up here

Directions
• whisk together milk, salt, butter, chocolate syrup, and vanilla in a pot on the stove
• heat until it starts rising out of the pot and trying to boil over (why does milk do this. i keep meaning to look that up. apparently it is due to the fats)
• remove from heat, steep with tea bag for 1-3 minutes depending on how much chai power you want to give it
• give it a sip and see if it needs sugar
• now scoop your cool whip on top there

these don't quite come out as divine as Fancy Four To Seven Dollar Drinks i have occasionally experienced but they are rich and luxuriant and better than just plain powder or just following the directions on the hot chocolate bottle. ftr i'm using regular ol Hershey's chocolate syrup and it would probably be even better if i bought like, a higher quality syrup.

Style Credit

Page generated Jan. 30th, 2026 02:37 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios