doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
(this is a crosspost of the original post on my cohost blog from september 12th, 2024.)

i had always meant to draw @kyn's perfect creation, intern secretary eggbug, and for various reasons (hand pain, slippery brain, etc.) i just never got around to it until now, so... here's that. (the other character is Petra). i'm not sure i've ever drawn anything with quite this mix of, uh, sincere grief and tongue-in-cheek absurdity. art is communication, okay? and what i'm communicating here is: i am so sad and also i watch so much anime.

in a terrible way, i'm glad that i'm this sad. ditching previous internet homes-- deviantart and twitter, to name two of them-- was a little sad, but mostly a relief. and there's something to be said for finality, i guess. i won't have to see it shambling around all rotten and gross and zombified, like the other places i've left behind. seeing cohost come to an end also hurts, but i'm glad it'll be a happy memory, instead of one tainted with resentment.

cohost was the first place people really took an interest in my original stuff. i had a few followers on other sites who consistently showed up for my OC-posting, but for the most part, it went unnoticed in other places in comparison to my fan work, and... you know. that's predictable, that's just how it is. and there's a lot of stuff people say about posting your creative work online, about not worrying about numbers, or popularity, or whether anyone else likes it at all. some of it's fine advice. i don't share absolutely everything i make. but i make most things with the intention that they be seen, and there's a certain amount of desperation in that, with passion projects. i was used to posting original stuff and mostly getting silence from the crowd. i was also wrestling with this painful shyness about my writing (which i think i pretty soundly broke myself of this year lol). i was a little stunned the first few times i posted some sketches of Iron Company characters here and people like... responded! and wanted to know more! it meant a lot. it really did.

i'm grateful. and i'm not sure i would have made Potion Stand Story and then gotten started on Iron Company properly this year if i hadn't been here, specifically, on the Fourth Website. i may well have just continued languishing in my hesitance.

thank you, sincerely, to everyone who stumbled across my stuff in the infinite ocean of the internet and gave it a chance, even though there's so much else vying for your time and attention. we all only have time for so much, and i'm glad that we all spent some of that time together. i'll try my best to pay forward the gifts that cohost gave me.
 





doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
i finished the sad task of going back and curating my cohost blog a bit before everything goes into read-only mode and the archiving begins. there were some vent posts from the rougher bits of the past year that i kind of... it wasn't that i was ashamed of them or anything, i just don't want to go back to look at the archive someday and remember how shitty i felt in that level of detail. it's a thing i go back and clean up occasionally, since my brain is bad and sometimes i post a little too much of my sadness on the internet. i didn't delete much, but i trimmed the hedges.

it's been nice to reminisce, but it's just so fuckin tragic. the whole thing sucks. i am "draw dramatic and highly context-dependent art about it" sad. (that's a cohost exclusive until the site goes read-only.)

i started posting there in october of 2022, on the 30th. so when cohost goes read-only, i'll have been there just about two years. it feels like so much longer. it kind of already felt like home when i arrived.

i have some hope, because people on cohost really cared. there are other people out there that wanted this to exist. it existed, for a while, because we wanted it. i'm not getting my hopes up for some miraculous revival a la SheezyArt's repeated emergences from the grave or whatever, but i don't think this is over. i don't think we all just go back to our lives and quietly accept that social media has to be garbage.

the highlight of my day was definitely watching Porco Rosso with my friend crepe this evening. dunno how i managed to not see that one until now. Castle In the Sky and Kiki's Delivery Service are my two favorite Ghibli movies and this had some of the spirit of both, so it's easily elbowed its way into my top favs. don't overlook the funny pig Ghibli movie, it's a hell of a romp. i love Fio and she deserves the world.


doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
PHYSICAL THERAPY, MOSTLY.

it's been a hell of a year. right after i got back to dreamwidth my wrist finally exploded badly enough that like, i just couldn't do stuff. turns out i have carpal tunnel syndrome (which a doctor wrote down as "psychosomatic" 10 years ago-- ain't sexism fun?). waited a few months to see a specialist and then waited another couple of months to actually get into PT... for a few months... and here we are. i'm not back to 100%, but i'm no longer at 0%.

and, well, now cohost, my home on the internet for the last couple of years, is about to shut down. that's where i've done all my longer-form blogging for the past few years. i'm sad. i'm really sad.

so. idk. i need somewhere to ramble, and i also need to be RSS-accessible to former cohost followers who don't want to keep up with me on bluesky or tumblr or any of the other places.

i honestly don't know how things will settle with me. we'll just have to see.

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