2025 creative wins / 2026 creative goals

[doodlemancy]

2026 will be my first full year without untreated carpal AND cubital tunnel syndrome in my drawing arm since i was still a child. (long story short: symptoms started in teens but i didn't have access to a doctor, and then when i did in my early 20s, said doctor wrote down that i had Making Shit Up Disease and i got gaslit repeatedly for 11 years. turns out doctors are wildly misogynistic, who knew!)

it takes up to a full year to really see the complete results of carpal/cubital tunnel release, and my second surgery was in August, so i still have a ways to go before i really know where i'm at now, but as things currently stand: i can draw longer without pain, if i do flare up i seem to actually recover with rest, and pain relievers like, actually work. shit's crazy.

so basically, this next year has the potential to be very exciting for my creative growth. i've already progressed so much just since the middle of 2025.

my creative progress this year

• i feel i have fully escaped the gilded cage of only being able to draw women and bishies. i can draw a man now. i know what those look like. i'm also better at bishies. just look at my Alucard.
• used Art Fight to strengthen two skills: hard shading, and working monochromatic (both very important for my visual novel project)
• i touched Blender. briefly. while high on post-surgery drugs. i didn't make anything or retain much but i did touch it finally
• i got FASTER. through strategic use of a cute little timer. (this is not an affiliate link. i just want you to see my cute timer. look at the little cloud look how happy and gay they are) it's honestly nuts how much faster i can work now, even with color.
• i got slightly better at more dynamic/daring poses and composition.
• i built a personal reference library that's really helping me out.
• i got so much better at Ren'py. like sooooo much better. not just code, but also working on Potion Stand Story DX taught me a lot about "animating" stuff in Ren'py, and how much you really can accomplish with a dissolve transition or just wiggling stuff. i'm very excited to apply what i learned from that to Iron Company.
• i'm increasingly perverse about coding. it was a means to an end to make my visual novels happen and now i think about it in the shower or in front of the microwave.
• i got better at writing. i used to joke a lot that i have one big beefy trogdor arm for dialogue and one little pathetic stick arm for prose, but i got better at prose, too, and i don't feel like i'll need quite as many images to carry Iron Company as i previously thought.

goals for 2026

(i'm gonna sound pretty critical of myself here but it's in jest and good faith. sometimes i gotta joke around with myself a little about my weaknesses before i can stance up enough to face them)

• FIRST AND FOREMOST: i have got to tackle my biggest visual art weak spot, which is my total lack of confidence re: The Head/Face In Perspective/At Weird Angles. i bought a book. im thinking about buying a little mini medical model skull to keep on my desk. i gotta really solidify the planes of the face in my mind, maybe see if i can grasp the Reilly Method now too. it's an area of neglect and frequent frustration for me, and i'd like to leave fewer of my successes on that front up to chance. ;D doing the Friangle challenge was the first step. this has been my biggest stumbling block for so long, and now that i'm strong and powerful and don't wear out after an hour of drawing, i'm confident i can get better at it. i gotta draw my gay little characters smooching until i become a demigod.
• here i am working on a visual novel where everyone carries guns, and as an artist i am gun-shy. hey, me! why fear the judgment of gun nuts? if they're looking to you for a Kouta Hirano level of gun-illustrating perversion, they're in the wrong place. you only need to learn to do this well enough to serve the story, and the bar for that is so extremely within reach, especially in the age of accessible 3D models.
• the above paragraph but also for vehicles. LOL
• i want to strengthen my understanding of light and shadow. frankly, it's weak. serviceable a lot of the time, but weak; when people compliment me on it i feel as if i've tricked them. at the very least, i'll make it a goal to apply quick hard shadows to more of my sketches rather than leaving them unshaded. there's so much that even simple shading can communicate that lines can't do alone.
• i'm really hoping in the spring-- the part of the year where my mental health and creative drive tend to peak-- i'll find some time to learn Blender. there's so much more i could accomplish if i could make my own 3D models or at least modify/kitbash existing ones, it's just something that will require something of a Herculean effort for me to actually learn, because... ngl... sitting and watching a video tutorial drains my MP so fast, but Blender isn't something i seem to be capable of figuring out by just fucking around. crossing my fingers that i can direct my Spring Hyperfocus at it.
• it would be neat to play around with composing music a little. that would be cool. idk if i'll have time for it but like, it's a possibility.
• and
• very important
• this next one is soooooooooooooooooo important
• I NEED TO CONTINUE TO TAKE BREAKS REGULARLY, stretch, and improve my ergonomics in general. back in 2024 when i was in physical therapy and had to draw in 10-20 minute sessions with 5-10 minute breaks in between, i not only had less pain, but i produced better work. to be clear, it was miserable. i hated it. for a person of Neuros Diverged in such a way as mine are, it is absolute torture to break the flow state on purpose. but. the results were undeniably better. AND, resurgence of CTS after surgery is unfortunately something that can and does happen (rarely), AND my back and neck are kind of fucked from depression-related inactivity. i gotta strengthen my discipline and my body. if i am so excited about my work that i can hardly tear myself away from it to stretch for 5-10 minutes, that's even more of a reason to try to maintain the (admittedly terrible and ungrateful) body that allows me to do the work.

i don't expect to meet every goal. it's fine if i don't. i'm super excited to try. i fucking love making stuff. frankly, things suck right now. my brain is bad, my body is still bad, the world is bad. i don't really need to get into it. but making stuff is good, always. it's my biggest emotional need, my driving force and my refuge from the Generalized Bad-ness. big ups to making stuff. shoutouts. accolades, etc.

anyway, play the new Iron Company beta which now includes Chapter 0. (new web version coming when i figure out how to pare it down to work within itch's limitations hahahaha aaaaaaa,)