doodlemancy: a drawing of myself i use as my avatar (Default)
[personal profile] doodlemancy
just kidding, this is just a vent post about the last 2 weeks of my life. some fun facts about me:
  • i have adhd
  • vyvanse works great for me
  • i also have pretty severe psychological trauma from a time some prescription meds went bad on me which has led to emetophobia and an extreme fear of unfamiliar substances
  • generic vyvanse does not work for me at all AND makes me sick to my stomach which triggers the emetophobia
  • i am also really bad on the phone, because i have trouble understanding people and i get really anxious and clam up and forget how to talk and it's a nightmare

(october 29th)

pharmacy #1: we're out of vyvanse. it'll be in on november 3rd

me: ugh whatever, this is the kind of thing i skip doses so i can cover, it's fine

(november 3rd)

pharmacy #1: haha just kidding november 10th

me (facedown in a puddle of my own blood, barely able to think or move, due to Aunt Flo's stupid shenanigans): whatever it's not like i'm getting anything done this week. guess im taking a break from my meds for a while

(november 5th)

friend: hey did you see Sun Pharmaceuticals' generic lisdexamfetamine is all fucked up and recalled?

me: ...that might explain why the pharmacy is struggling to fill my name brand stuff again ugh

(november 10th)


pharmacy #1: we will have it on november 24th

me: sure you will, sweetie. hey pharmacy #2 do you have my dosage of vyvanse in stock

pharmacy #2: yeah we have plenty of that right now

me: ok clinic can you please re-send the prescription over to pharmacy #2 thank you

clinic: yep (waits until the very end of the business day)

me: fuck's sake. it's really a waste of everyone's time that i have to go back to them like this every single time

(and at this point i start doing my research and find out, at the very least, there was a DEA rule change in 2023 that i didn't hear about that means i can have even a schedule II prescription transferred once between two pharmacies without my prescriber's intervention. why did no one ever mention this! who knows!!!!!!!!! i had been told this was impossible!)

(november 11th)

pharmacy #2: vyvanse out of stock sorry. none until the 24th

me: but you said you hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

pharmacy #2: sorry what i meant yesterday was we have plenty of the trash generic shit that makes you sick and useless and panicky

me:

me: okay,

me: well,

me: can we transfer it to another pharmacy

pharmacy #2: yes it looks like this other one near you has it in stock

me (stupid, expecting literally anything to ever go right): yay! one more phone call and i'm done!

pharmacy #3: hey so we tried to transfer it but your insurance said it's too soon since it was last filled

me:

me: but it hasn't been filled since september

pharmacy #3: thats weird

me: oh it's because the clinic forgot to cancel it at pharmacy #1. ugh can you cancel it or do i have to call someone else

pharmacy #3: you have to call someone else

me (dying inside): (screams into pillow)

me: UUUUUUUUUUUGH clinic can you please cancel the prescription at pharmacy #1

clinic: yes and i will call you back when it's done

me (feebly): do you have a time frame because i'm kind of scared pharmacy #3 is going to run out before they can fill it

clinic: no time frame sorry

me (too nice): ok :)

me: (screams into pillow again)

(and then the clinic proceeded to actually do the thing in a timely manner, but not call me back, but i caught it in time because i was feverishly refreshing pharmacy #1's website waiting for my old prescription to disappear.)

so here i am. with a splitting headache (from being unmedicated and sleep-ruined and furious) and a raw throat (from literally screaming into pillows because this sent me into an emotional meltdown). waiting for pharmacy #3 to notify me when it's ready to pick up. still unable to relax because what if they figure out a way to play keep-away some more lmao lmao lmao lmao

i have some rhetorical questions about this experience:
  • why?
  • why was any of this my responsibility?
  • why do i have to be everyone's unpaid intern?
  • why do i always have to be everyone's unpaid intern specifically when i am off my meds?
  • when will i get the millions of dollars in emotional damages i am clearly owed for being put through this same shit over and over and over and over and over since 2023?
  • how could anyone in this wretched world possibly believe in a loving god?
  • what if i just screamed really really loud next time this inevitably happens again? would someone help if i just started off with screaming? maybe i'll just scream
  • AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Date: 2025-11-11 11:56 pm (UTC)
wispfox: (Default)
From: [personal profile] wispfox
"why was any of this my responsibility?"

This is an excellent question, especially when combined with the reason you need the meds in the first place!

Date: 2025-11-13 08:12 am (UTC)
elyusion: (peek)
From: [personal profile] elyusion
it's actually kind of awesome(/negative) how the process of getting adhd meds is so. so adhd-unfriendly. it's hostile to so many other disorders too 🤦🏾‍♂️ who designed this shit TT_TT

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