my 3 favorite tools for making windows less dogshit

a couple of things up front:

• i'm not personally on Windows 11 yet but all of these tools work for 11.
• this is not an invitation to badger me about linux. linux is fine but it is not viable for me. if you want to pay your own travel fare to come to my house and set up all of my extremely finicky peripherals and software with it, for free, sure, give me a time and date, i'd fuckin love to see you try.
• don't badger me about security either lol. we all have to make our own risk assessments with this stuff and i've made mine; i stay a little behind specifically so that i don't get hit with updates that break things i need, waste my time, shove more AI trash in my face and potentially cost me money. immediately and unthinkingly saying yes to every update is how you lose your hard drive.

now that we've got that out of the way, here are the 3 large cast iron pans i have used to beat windows 10 (and, by proxy, friends' copies of windows 11) into a stupor and convince it that it is actually my beautiful dead wife windows 7 when it regains consciousness.

1. Open Shell
previously known as Classic Shell, Open Shell lets you return to a time when the Windows taskbar and start menu were designed with usability in mind instead of whatever the fuck happened in 2012. you can use it to make your current Windows GUI look and function more like pre-8 versions of Windows. it also adds a ton of handy functionality by letting you create custom submenus (i have one where i can easily launch all my gamedev stuff, one for emulators, one for my stream setup, etc. it's really neat!). you can also have a custom start button and stuff. there's lot's of customizing to be done! GET IT HERE.

2. Windows Update Blocker
i have negative tolerance for forced updates that randomly make my tablet unusable or keep me waiting around all fucking day when i have SHIT I'M TRYING TO DO. this lets me update on my own time, on my own terms, after thoroughly checking to make sure that the latest update isn't a brick-maker. be aware that the first time you run it, if there's an update in the queue it will probably still manage to install itself and you'll have to turn on WUB again after the restart-- but after that, you can live in peace. the other caveat here is you won't be able to download anything from Microsoft (ex. if you want to get something like PowerTools or whatever from the Microsoft Store, you'll have to turn off WUB temporarily). GET IT HERE. (and if you like it, you can donate to the developer!)

3. ShutUpWindows
originally ShutUpWindows10, it also supports 11. ShutUpWindows provides a large number of switches to turn off garbage. most importantly, you can use it to kill Copilot and Recall. there's a lot of stuff you can do with it that you technically can already do in Windows, but it provides a centralized location for all those little switches, and it's an easier way to make sure Windows continues to respect your preferences. you might have to occasionally open it and run it again after updates. GET IT HERE.

when using these tools, remember that they can and will sometimes interfere with stuff and keep that in mind when you're troubleshooting anything. also: be mindful of all the settings! especially ShutUpWindows-- don't just go with the recommended settings, comb through and know what you are turning on or off. the point of all of this software is to take back control over your PC, so don't let anyone make these choices for you.